The weekend after... Jumbled thoughts

The weekend after Thanksgiving is a mix of craziness. My husband works nights all weekend.. Boo! I like sitting on the couch with the soft glow of Christmas lights. Since we had no leftovers to enjoy I made my families famous apple pie yesterday:) Yummy! I will also make pecan since Dusty loves pecan and didn't get a decent pecan pie. Last night Bella was a bad girl and peed before I could get the back door open and pooped in our bedroom this morning! Erg! She is still learning and we really have to watch her. She will be really good and then suddenly she acts like she hasn't been trained where "to go".... Sigh, the little terd lol. I started shopping for presents and some ideas went bust, but then I bought a collection of items on eBay. :) I think it was a really good deal. I need a wardrobe update/ makeover... I have spending money for clothes, but I would rather go shopping with a friend versus alone or with my husband. He would gladly go with me, but what it boils down to I am embarrassed and depressed at how much weight I gained... I miss feeling cute and pretty in my clothes. I have a whole closet of clothes I can't fit into right now. I really want to get back into a diet, but it is hard to be married and eat like I used to. I don't feel like I overeat or eat really bad junk food, but for me it all adds up. Plus I was getting dizzy and I fainted at least once in front of Dusty due to low blood sugar! One doctor said I had hypoglycemia, and didn't do anything else. She said to eat higher protein snacks and high fiber. Well, I know I probably eat too many carbs and too many high in fat proteins, but I don't get dizzy! This new doctor I am going to gave me a blood sugar tester (diabetics use them) to prick my finger when I feel dizzy and test to see if my blood sugar is in a normal range. But this means I need to go back on the diet in order to do this properly. Sigh... It costs a bit of money to buy the food I would need plus it would be boring, my energy would be low, I remember sleeping a lot and drinking diet soda to take the edge off. Is that worth doing for losing weight and being happy with the way I look? At the time I thought so, I felt like it was a miracle! I had found something that worked!! I really want to do this I just don't know if I am committed enough to follow through. Maybe me blogging about it might get me motivated to begin. But then it means that meals will be pretty boring for Dusty... Like I said I have not totaly wrapped my head around all this. Weight is such an awful thing to have to deal with, it's very public, it's not a secret it's right there for everyone to see. I want to enjoy life! I envy those that don't struggle, but then you don't know what they might be struggling with I guess. Everyone has their battles, I guess I better be thankful for what I have and pray. Well I have rambled enough today:)