Sad..

I am upset at myself and my body... Hung out with an old friend that has struggled with weight during her life as well as have I. She currently is very thin and I look at myself in failure.. I know she works very hard in watching what she eats and works out a lot. I am proud of her because I know personally because I too have lost weight. Sadly, I have gained it back plus some.... It's my fault I know. There have been things that have happened that make it harder but it's still my fault. It makes me very sad to have clothes in my closet that don't fit and to look at myself in the mirror and not be happy. I am on my period which makes me more emotional but it tears me up inside being overweight like I am. I pray for the strength and courage and the help from God to help me find a way for me to lose weight and become healthier. I get tired of thinking or talking about it. I just want it to happen. ..... I used to worry about gaining weight once prego. Now I am concerned about being overweight to begin with and have health problems. Sigh. I am being so depressing tonight :(